Finished

Finished!

Remember the scared little girl? Broken and bound, the one who promised never to return.

Now dispite all efforts made has suddenly re-emerged.

Falling back into the depths from which I had risen, confused and unsure I rush to reach for

the top, but I just missed it.

Things lost in the past now quickly become my present,

racing thoughts through my head I can't focus, screaming, crying, trying, just to be noticed.

Where am I? How long have I been here?

I look around , I can't find the light all this noise in my ears, can't think , can't hear,

my palms are sweaty, my body's cold, am I alone?

Okay , focus, breath for a minute. Think, calm down, how'd I get myself in this?

Was it me, my fault? or did I let u control it? gave you all the power that made me so sick?

I'm done with the lies, tired of being who you want. I'm just me that's it, whether you like it

or not!

I was so lost in the cloud of doubt and hypocrisy, I finally found my way out, to be free.

Where Am I?

So I wrote this some time ago but I though this was an intresting one to start with, hope u like it...

WHERE AM I? Feels like Sodom and Gomorrah these days… wrapped within my own wickedness and depravity, waiting for God to come and wipe US OUT!

Addiction, abuse, love? Every thought and emotion begins to bleed into one another and nothing feels safe anymore.

I wish I could fly like a bird with wings like angels, I want to feel the sun shine on my face and the breeze toss my hair. I want to feel the freedom of knowing peace, truly understanding it and yourself. I am a stranger to my own heart.

Peace is the notion that there is something greater than who or what I am, it is a theory that has never fully been proven, it is a sweet bedtime story told to children so they can learn to hope, but ultimately its  nothing more than a fairytale.

Land of the free? Once again a concept driven into our minds so that we become mechanically engineered into perfect little… happy robots. I AM HAPPY AND FREE; LOOK AT ME, WOOP WOOP!

BULLSHIT…

I am fucking miserable; as are most people; I work hard for shit pay, in a highly populated “upscale environment” where the people are well-off, mean and self involved. I am 27 no marriage, no kids and I can barely keep the roof over my head, any day now my dogs will start to hustle… anyone got a quarter?

So why fake it? We walk around with a mask for each day of the week, for what? Who are we actually trying to impress? No one really believes us half the time anyway.

I’d rather be honest then be “free”, I’d rather know truth then search for a lie, I’d rather live by my terms then die by someone else’s, and I know the world is not a pretty little painting with a bow on top.

A great man once said… We are the all-singing, all-dancing CRAP of the world(Tyler Durden; Fight Club)
So fuck it.